Sorry long post - hope those that know me can add some insight for me.

I've been unstable for around 2 months now. Not depressed, not hypomanic or manic but very unstable. I feel like the meds no longer work at all, and I am having trouble taking 2 of them as I should. I take the AP and AD properly but the stimulant and benzo get left out some days as I do not feel they help.

I have been having a whole lot of pain issues. I have pain in my uterus from the mirena. Doctors say the pain is not there. But almost every day for 18 months I have had pain from it. I also get terrible lower back pain, so pdoc has suggested it is referred pain. Some days I am screaming in pain as I also have issue with taking painkillers. One time I showed my partner how much physical pain I was in, and he ran screaming from the house. Literally. He could not handle seeing just how much I hurt.

I have had aching leg pain since I started this AD about 16 months ago. I have cysts in my legs from cutting and due to falling issues I spend more time sitting down in the fetal position. I know sitting is bad but I do also walk over rough terrain around 3 hours a day for work alone. I've tried more movement and exercise and that has usually had me bed bound for a few days. Resting/less activity = much less pain.

When I go inpatient they just put me straight on codeine and ibuprofen every 4 hours for the pain. At home I will take 1/4 of the dose I am on per day, in hospital, about once a month, if that at home. I dont feel I deserve to be painfree if I am not a productive member of society and life.

My gyno says the pain is not there at all. My tdoc says possibly referred pain but has no ideas to help me. My pdoc believes the pain in my legs and has suggested med change but we're on the last of the OCD meds now and its worked so well for most of the distressing OCD.

What do I do? I dont want to spend the money on physio for pain that may all be in my head. How do I know its real? How do I prove that I feel it regardless?