Tonight, I can't sleep. I keep thinking about killing myself. I have a plan, but I can't die now. I'm getting a house. I need to finish school. I got to make sure my boyfriend is the beneficiary of my bank accounts. I don't want my family getting my money. I need to go to school though. There are things that keep me from doing it, but I'm afraid one day my illness is going to take over and I do it one day.