Please call someone right now. Call a crisis line, or your therapist. I realize that your hope is gone and you're not seeing the point in life, but they can help you in this moment with this here and now pain. Please, I don't know your or your struggles and I'm not going to tell you that life is worth living because I'm not sure where you are in life if that's true. But one thing I will tell you is that there are people who are trying, and care, and they just need to know how bad things are so they can help. Please stop hurting yourself tonight, just for tonight. Take care of the wounds you've already made and put away your harming devices for tonight. Call someone and talk with them asap and then get a bit of sleep if you can. Do whatever it takes to lay your body down for at least an hour or two without the use of medication if possible. Tomorrow if a different sorry and doesn't need to be looked at right now. First thing is first, survive the night, the now. Please, push yourself to help yourself, I believe you can do it, one night at a time