Anger is a tough one for me......I find it hard to differentiate anger with being mad with being overly frustrated....it seems that they are all just different levels of the same emotion for me.

When I was in California around my husband, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't feel anger. When I get angry, mad, or even frustrated, I tend to LET IT ALL OUT!!!!....yell, rant, rave....totally loose my cool. I found when I was younger, if I kept it in, I would end up getting sick....really sick, & I couldn't do that to myself anymore, so I started to let it all out.

When I felt that someone treated me wrong or was trying to cheat me, I would jump on them & fight like a tiger. I have found that I try to settle differences a bit quieter but I get onto a problem situation immediately.....not like my husband who always takes the "wait & see" attitude. He usually gets into trouble with that attitude because he just lets things wait & get worse.

Now that I am in Kentucky, I don't know what anger is....or at least nothing like in California. I have to admit that last friday when I took my rental car back & was charged over $1,000.00 more than I was quoted, I was angry. I knew that the people at the counter couldn't do anything about the problem. I know I made jabing remarks to them as I left, but kept the anger loaded for the customer service on Monday morning. Keeping the anger in, did cause a horrible anxiety attack than made it hard to drive the several hours home from Louisville airport. I hadn't felt that frustrated & angry since I had left California, so I ended up breaking down in tears on the way home....making driving a bit difficult.

I have found that when I am not under the emotional stress I was under in California, I am much better able to handle the things that do come up here.....guess I am not so much on the edge that I go off at just the littlest thing, so even dealing with the Hertz customer service on Tuesday......wasn't as bad as I thought i would be.

I have had several other frustrating things happen here.....like fixing my pool wrong for several times in a row....I did leave a bit of an angry message on the phone voice mail & a note that I thought no one would read on the pool hose that was replaced wrongly. I saw the lady at Wal-Mart that owns the pool repair shop & we laughed about my message when I warned her about it......little did I know that the guy who was fixing my pool had received the message & was out fixing the problem when I was talking to her in Wal-Mart.

My internet connection was another frustration......When they first came out, they told me they needed a larger antenna to get the signal through my huge walnut tree....well 2 weeks later & nothing....so I went in to check.....they just got my wireless unit in, but never ordered the antenna....so they came out again to try & get a signal with what they had & ended up having to order the antenna....then came the excuses for how it was delivered wrong & then got lost & blah...blah....blah. Problem is they are the only internet provider that is reasonable compaired to the phone company.....I did tell them that if they weren't the only game in town, I would have already gone to someone else, but they really should straighten up their customer service act.

I have learned here not to be in any kind of hurry......it just isn't the way, & I don't have a problem with things being slow, just being wrong.

It feels so good to feel peaceful & not have those anger feelings I had in California.....when I get angry with my husband now....I just hang up on him & go back to my peaceful life as if he doesn't exist. It really has made me realize just how much energy anger can take out of you & how much energy, you can put into the anger. I don't like waisting my time or energy on those feelings & now that I have been away from it, I don't miss those feelings a bit.

Oh yes, I don't know if I am through menopause or not....it comes back every once in a while to let me know it isn't over yet.....they goes away for another 6 months......but don't think my anger was related to that at all, since I pretty much know what was pushing my buttons.

Interesting post to let me stop & think about those emotions,
Debbie