Tomi,
I know it is rough especially when you have pre-conceived expectations of what a family will be like especially since you were an only child like me & really didn't know what a large family would even be like.

I know for me, it is hard to change my feelings when I have held onto certain expectations (like my expectations of what a marriage should be like). I have a hard time letting go of the expectations that I have had all my life....& honestly, sometimes, I don't want to change those expectations....which makes life even harder....but it seems to me that if I don't want to change my expectations, then I have to walk away from the situation.....neither choice is easy.

Hope things work out for you....in time,
Debbie