purplemoon, I understand feeling that a session is a "waste" as you call it, but all sessions are helpful. This particular session sticks with you as being not what you wanted it to be and that is something to explore in itself. So judging the session as good or bad has a different result than letting it happen and go wherever it goes and exploring it from that perspective.

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Will he reject me. I am afraid of that but I also think that I am starting to reject him. I hope some of this makes sense.

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Sure does make sense. To protect yourself from the pain and hurt of your thought of him rejecting you, you want to reject him first... control the anticipated rejecting. Remember though, that he isn't rejecting you--it is a thought you're having about the fear of him rejecting you. I hope you'll share with him about feeling that you're rejecting him because you think he will reject you. . As you read from some posts, sharing fears like that helps build the trust and bond with the T. You could also share with T about what you've read here that you'd like to experience too.

From your post it sounds like you have a king and caring T. It can be hard to accept that we actually have someone there for us! When he asked you to tell him how you really feel when you referred to 'those idiots' he was trying to get you to expand on that thought and to see what makes them 'idiots' to you. He wants to know how you think and how you feel. Great T!

Your message to him is good. Honest and direct! I hope it will be a bridge to being able to tell him what you want to tell him.

How are you feeling today?

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