I just want to make sure I understand. Do you mean when you feel aroused, but no matter what you do, you can't reach orgasm, or do you mean being horny one day, and having no desire the next? I relate to both, and that wanting to reach orgasm and not being able to is torture!!! But it's normal, as I've found out from my reading and watching documentaries and sex advice shows. The more stressed out you get about it, the harder it becomes, so try not to let it get to you, ok?

One thing you might try is Zestra, which is an expensive (around $25 a box) mix of oils in little packets you can rub in your girly parts that helps arouse you and can help with orgasm. I tried half of one packet, but I'd like to try it again (the box got thrown away before we moved). It smells a little weird, but just don't smell too closely and it's no big deal. It really does create a wonderful sensation. I didn't taste it, but my research and reading indicates it does not taste good, so if you happen to be using it with a partner, advise him or her to skip the oral for now. I don't think there's any harm tasting it, but you just don't want to. It's got fish oil and stuff in it. It can be a bit messy, especially if you use the whole pack (you can use half a pack to make it last longer, but I want to try a whole pack next time), so you might want to put a towel or something under you. It takes about five minutes to really feel the effects, but it's very nice!