It sounds even dreamlike when you talk about how you grew up. Well, nightmarish but also vague. It must be very strange that all children react the same way, now grown up. Like, what was reality really? It would really bother me.

I'm not dissociative and I grew up fairly normal. I have plenty of memories from places I lived and been. Some stuff I have totally forgotten because it was not relevant to a child, I more remember things that affected me the age I was. So there are many things I do not remember, because as a child I did not focus on them. Also over time, some memories have faded or gotten distorted.

Still, they are plentiful. They clearly contribute to a timeline from when I was very little to when I became an adult. Some people have less detailed memories and more sweeping, some have more emotional memories than others, some have forgotten quite a bit, but if they grew up fairly OK, they have this feeling the way they remember is fine. There is nothing iffy or spooky about it.

I can quarrel with my family a bit about things I say I remember right, but it is not about everything and it is certainly not about very important things, well, people saw it from different perspectives and noticed different details. We could argue which vacation we went where and if this and that thing happened on one vacation or another. We might not know who had which bicycle at what age. But it does not happen that we all come up with all different answers, like we really lived different realities. Like we could agree on the color of the cat and roughly when we got him. The way you talked about your cat sounded very spooky and vague. It is definitely not "normal".

I'm not sure exactly what I want to say, but I think it is that, I think there is something very, very wrong with your childhood and your family. I just felt I wanted to validate that. In case you come to a point where you think it wasn't THAT weird... Don't forget to trust your instinct on this.

I'd also want to say to the possible little one inside not to feel afraid. And that if you feel afraid, remember there are good adults too, those who actually can be trusted.