Quote:
Originally Posted by waggiedog
Oh dear dear CrazyLo, how I so do identify with absolutely EVERYTHING you mentioned in your "vent", wow wee, I can't believe that someone else has literally mirrored the way my ED has manifested over the last 30 plus years. I spent my childhood being the "Clesses fat kid", mainly because the other kids were right ~ I was the ever growing fat kid having come from a family of compulsive eaters!! By the time I'd got to around 18/19 I went on my first "diet", which basically ment slowly cutting out various food groups. My weight went down n down until I'd lost so much that my only big fear was gaining weight due to the binges I had started to indulge in. These binges were to become frightening and I lived in fear of them. One night after a really bad binge I became so depressed, that I couldn't stand it anymore and took an overdose. That was the start of many many admissions to the psych hospital. I've been diagnosed atypical anorexic, Borderline Personality Disorder, EDNOS and low salt.
I'd really like to share more with you sometime, I hope we can manage to do that. I
HUGS and LOVES, as ever. Xxxxxx
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Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more!
Yes, so like I said in last post, I've been hospitalized in the psych hospital 4 times in the last 2 months. Well, at this particular hospital they give you tons of food and technically you're not supposed to eat all of it but no one really limits how much food you consume and with my overeating tendencies I've gained at least 15 pounds since June...maybe 20 pounds. This last hospital stay I was purging 2 or 3 times a day. So basically I treated my hospital meals like binges and then I would go purge.
I am greatly stressed out about my weight gain but my treatment team is more concerned with my mania and psychosis and like I said the weight piece has really been put on the back burner until I am more stable. But I am hating my body...I think according to BMI I am obese but BMI is so inaccurate plus even though I think I look gross I don't really look obese.
Anyway, I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. It's frustrating that the eating disorder does not go away, at least for me, it just keeps taking different forms. When I was a child I was also a compulsive over-eater. I got really chubby the last few years of elementary school but I was never teased because I had a high popularity status. Then in middle school I had growth spurts and thinned out a lot but I was also not eating all day and then would eat a bunch at night. I think my metabolism was a lot better back then because given the amount of food I was consuming, particularly in the summer where I would eat all day, I really was on the thin side all the way up until I started purging when I was 15.
Anyway, pm me if you want to talk more about it.
