I thought I was holding it all together really well despite how I was feeling. I tried to hide what I was going through while at school (medical based massage therapy) even though my anxiety was greatly increased due to school. I tried to keep a forced smile on my face even though I was feeling like hell inside.

Today, my shell cracked. I couldn't face going to class tonight, tried doing the technique my T taught me to handle the anxiety and only became worse. I was having a complete breakdown. Called my pdoc and he told me to take part of my Seroquel dose to calm down. My husband said it's time to quit the program. He was right. Going to the school to withdraw sucked and it will cost me a lot of money but I couldn't do it anymore. I tried and it wasn't enough.

I feel a little less anxious because I don't have to go anymore but I also feel like a complete failure. I was over half way done. I tried to "tough" it out for a few more months (graduation would have been in December) but I couldn't. This really sucks. That is all.