Wow, I am in agreement with kbaydoun- this felt like you were describing me as well!

I have just recently been diagnosed with ADHD- I was pretty skeptical at first.
Through much research and reading of personal accounts- I am now sure of it.

I have a fake it till you make it approach. No one that I work with or customer would ever believe I have ADHD. They all think I am the happiest person in the world who totally has her ish together. Not so. My life is great and I should be very content, and I am- to a point. My boyfriend is the one who has his ish together.

He has actually been a savior for me. He is my accountability- I don't want to let him down- so I pay bills on time- mostly. I have found autopay to be a lifesaver! I definitely wouldn't pay bills on time or return books or dvds on time etc etc etc. I only have a checking account because his name is on it and I know I wont screw him over.

I have been on an 8 year journey to become a better person and all that.

I went to therapy to work out some serious personal issues. It helped a lot. That was about 6 years ago. I went for about 9 months and then quit because my therapist moved and I didn't like the new one blah blah blah and I was on a good path.

In January I knew something was wrong because all of the boundaries and structure I had going in my life just wasn't working anymore. It was like I fell apart when everything started getting really stable. Which is so annoying- my life is actually pretty great so- I am just gonna go ahead and screw it up. what???

I have been on this journey of authenticity for quite some time and I knew I would have to deal with this if I wanted it to get better. I had to listen to my body-- it always finds a way to tell me what I need and don't need.

So, here I am. I see my therapist every other week. I have been seeing my prescriber once a month for the last three months-- I am very fortunate to have wonderful people working with me.

I still struggle every single day. Every day of my life is me trying! I have to try everyday and I have to keep that positive attitude- looking for the silver lining to everything or I will sink into negativity so quickly- becoming a rather nasty person.

I have to fake it till I make it or I will ruin everything. it's what keeps me going. It has taken a lot of heartache and evidence that things work if you keep authentically trying. Some days are better that others. I am just very grateful to have things in my life I feel I would waste away without. I don't want to lose what and who I have in my life now. that is my motivation to persevere! And I am so glad I found this site!!!

I hope this helps you feel that you're not alone. It helps me just to get it all out!