Depakote was hard for me because my body did not handle it well. I had to be on huge doses to maintain a therapeutic level and even then my level would dip for no good reason. The last year I was on it I was on 3200 mg which is a ton. So it caused weight gain, I was always exhausted, waking up in the mornings was awful which made work awful, and I just felt sluggish all the time although it did keep me from having the most extreme manias/depressions most of the time. Even taking it though I was on disability 3 times in 5 years for various time periods and it didn't work on its' own until I was on Seroquel too. Eventually Seroquel was enough I could come off it.

With lamictal the first time I was on too much. The clinical trial increased the dose for everyone and for me it was too much and so I was sick from the lamictal level. After a year of vomiting pretty much daily I stopped it. A few years later I went back on at a lower dose, still with depakote and ltihium, and loved it. I made it 2 weeks past the point the rash is supposed to not be a problem and got the rash pretty badly. After that lamictal wasn't an option for me.

I have had struggles with most meds. Lithium was good for me except for a few minor things (thyroid and diabetes insipidus) but I had 3 toxicities and 3 is one more than I was willing to deal with. So I have been off it about 18 months. I just recently discovered that I probably have had psychosis controlled by lithium as my first big episode since lithium was stopped was the first with this much psychosis. I miss lithium though; it was good at slowing rapid cycling for me as well as the psychosis thing.

I hope you find the right thing soon. Trial and error is SO hard and there is nothing to say to make it better. I'm in the middle of it again right now too and I hate it.