I am sorry you are having such difficulties. I second the suggestion that you might consider someone who is glbt friendly - but not necessarily lesbian or gay themselves. I see one now who has a gay son for example - and although I use her differently than you seem to - the one I see does get a ton more care-ish with those who want it. I knew another lesbian who saw her and who kept describing the woman as her jewish mother therapist. Not at all how I see the woman, but apparently it was possible.