Hi Everyone,

So...I don't know how to start so I'm just going to jump right in.

I really, truly feel like I have no one to talk to (or can't talk to anyone) about my depression and I need some help dealing with my depression, finding friends, or just getting some advice from you guys.

To make a really long story short, I feel dead stuck in place and like I have no one to turn to for help with my depression. I have been to therapists off and on and I just can't open up to them; I don't feel safe opening up to strangers because of stuff that happened when I was between the ages of 11 and 15.

So, does anyone here have any tips for me? I've rewritten this message twice because I went off too long into my life story, so excuse how brief this message is.

Like, when you are out of college and have no friends, are trying to find a full-time job while you work a stressful (and borderline nerve-frying) part-time job, and are physically around all of these people that you just don't feel like you can be yourself around--let alone express your depression to--how do you deal? I have a large family and, because of my financial situation, still live at home with my parents but I just can't talk to any of them. My parents are not a source right now--mainly because they're a huge cause of stress, anxiety, and depression for me right now. So...I just feel like all of these people that I'm physically around are not people I can turn to and the people that I'm emotionally close to but not physically close to...I guess those emotional ties are breaking from the distance between us.

Anyway, how do you guys deal with your depression? More than that, have any of you been in a situation similar to this and managed to overcome it? How did you do so? What advice to you have on recognizing and expression your emotions and thoughts and conquering at least some part of your depression?

Things have been way worse for me than they are now, but I've never felt like I had no one to talk to so I'm really at a loss. Hobbies don't distract me because I'm a perfectionist to the utmost degree, so anything I love turns into a job and a huge stressor and self-confidence destroyer.

Also, having graduated from college last year, I have no idea as to how to make friends or get into a romantic relationship. I'm really terrified when it comes to making friends unless I can talk to that person about my interests and passions in-depth and know that they share at least some of those interests and passions with me. I'm not really good at keeping friendships because, as my mom once told me, I shy away when people start to get close. Do you guys have suggestions on how to get over these sorts of issues (or use them to my advantage in making and keeping friends)? How in the world do you make friends after college?

Again, I apologize for this being so brief. Twice I wrote this and twice I rewrote this because I went way too deep and couldn't find a way out without starting over.

Please let me know of any and all advice, suggestions, etc. that you have (even criticisms if that will help me).

Thank You So Much,

RileyRonan