I got so I could credit my T for "trying" to listen, even when the result wasn't any good and she didn't understand. She was in there trying and I could see that and that became enough sometimes, just that she was struggling to be "with" me, that she really wanted to listen to me.

Seeing that they are really sad that it is hurting you that they are going away takes some of the sting out of the going away and makes it feel less like abandonment and a greater sense of connection so when they're away one can realize they may be thinking of you occasionally afterall :-) Even 2 years after termination now, I still do the imaginary I'm-thinking-of-her/she-probably-occasionally-thinks-of-me too scenario for comfort. We're not freaks, we're just like they are/they're just like we are.