Quote:
Originally Posted by hopeless85
So he will graduate college in December and plans on moving by himself to CO. He wants to get involved in the weed industry..... We are currently looking for apartments or extended stay hotels but they are so expensive and he has no job lined up yet. . . . . . I worry constantly about my son, about him drinking, about him always asking for money. He finally got a job and is making a little but he feels we need to help him once he moves and if he falls on hard times wire him $??? He is reckless with his car and who knows what will be when he gets out there.
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What do you mean by "We are looking for apartments." ?? If he wants to move to Colorado, let him figure out how to do that on his own. If he can't arrange this move without financial backing from you, then maybe that's a good reason to believe he shouldn't be going anywhere. Stop giving him money. I presume you helped him through college. Now he must work for whatever he wants. If he wants to move, let him figure out the financing. You do sound like someone with the classic enabling mindset. I'm not picking on you. I've been there, done that. I highly recommend you attend some Al-Anon meetings and get an armful of their literature. Doing so changed my life, though it took a few years for the principles to sink in.
You need to concentrate on working on your own life and leave him alone. Next time he goes on a trip to hell - and he will - decline to accompany him.