I hope it works out, Ally. I'm so bad at oral communication and conversation -- even though I teach communication skills, go figure!

Writing is my best means of communicating. If you find you are too emotional to talk things over with your best friend, perhaps you could craft a note or email. DO NOT SEND IT RIGHT AWAY. Think about it, meditate on it, consider how each word will impact your friend.

It can take me weeks to craft an email that says what I want to say in a delicate situation. In fact, a very good friend and I have been exchanging handwritten notes about something that happened in 2004, at which time I told her not to contact me again.

In late 2006, I got a note from her -- and I didn't respond until about two months ago in 2007. Then, after about 6 weeks, she wrote back, obviously very surprised that my perspective was so different than hers.

The point I'm making is that there may not be a quick fix for this situation. You each may need time to process the feelings and new information -- like meat marinating in a wine sauce or alcohol distilling and maturing. It may take time to get the friendship back to where you'd like it to be. Don't try to rush it by speaking or writing when your emotions may interfere with expressing your ideas temperately. Have faith that it will work out in good time, and in the meantime, work on your own feelings and inner self. Send her loving thoughts to raise the energy-level of the situation.

Best wishes with this important relationship problem.