Hi, I wanted to discuss about an issue that is always bothering me. Ever since I was a child I always had a problem connecting with male friends, rather than female friends; now I will elaborate the problem to which I'm trying to refer to; I was not a feminine boy nor did I like to play with girls stuff and I had male friends, but they were never the alpha type boys. I was always avoiding sport class and competitive games, not because someone had made fun out of me, it was purely in my mind (now I understand). I was afraid I am not as good as them or potent as them. I even avoided physical confrontation, which of course was very common among other boys. No one made fun out of me and the other boys liked me as well; but as time progressed I was beginning to feel jealous...extremely jealous about them feeling so comfortable in their skin, as I was struggling with major self esteem issues; Perhaps putting it aside by trying to look for the companion of girls. I befriended with the boys group in my class at some point, but again always felt inferior to them physically and not mentally. That jealousy, at some point, became an attraction to which I was trying to feel the inner void with. I'm 25 years old today, I still feel that same insecurity and emptiness inside of me. And the way I am attracted to men (at least how I feel it is like) feels like I am trying to have sex with attractive males to feel the insecurity inside me. None of it of course never works, people always get that I'm needy and are noticing how much I crave for intimacy and physical bonding rather than just raw sex, and they're staying away from me. It is important to note that I'm not saying there's something wrong about being attracted to men, absolutely not !! I'm okay with being gay, but it is very important to me to understand the way I act and my inner conscience of course. Is there something that formal psychology recognizes about what I mentioned ? Is my interpretation sounds somehow logical ? I never truly discussed it with someone, but it bothers me a lot. I feel so insecure and empty from inside and I'm trying to mask it by avoiding stressful situations. And I pay a great price for it.