T, last time we met you told me I know where to find you if I need you.
Looking at your texts you wrote it a couple times: "When you need me I'm here". Maybe your other clients just call/text you. I don't know why I can't. It's like an inside stop I have. It's difficult to never feel at ease and always want to be invisible, to feel like you are less and you will always bother others whatever you are doing or asking for, even when for them it's OK. It's like having huge rusted chains that fasten you to the bottom of a hole.