The distinction between wants and needs is a great one, mouse. And when the "wants" and "needs" are in sync, that is a great situation. For me, being able to identify what I need is a good skill to cultivate, and then being able to tell T is another. I remember once my T asked what I wanted from him in therapy, what I wanted him to do, and he said these powerful words: "tell me your needs." I didn't remember a time in my life when anyone had asked what my needs were before and I was bowled over that someone, anyone, would care what my needs were. That statement threw me off for weeks.