Stop being so hard on yourself! Life is too short to be so uptight. Relax. Build up your confidence level. You have to put yourself in a position to attract the right guy for you. For example, meet guys at a lounge or events. Get out of your comfort zone.

In regards to being bullied, that doesn't give you an excuse to be one. I understand that you were hurt before but that doesn't make it right to bully others to cover up the scars. Go talk to a therapist because your problems can be solved if you're willing to work for it.