People who say that can't see what it's costing you to keep "functioning" and they can't see how you feel inside.

You seem to know what will really help you, which is a huge plus. Now it sounds like you have to figure out how to get it for a lower cost or how to come up with the money to pay for it.

I don't know what your current financial picture is like. Sometimes it can be worth it to pay a professional financial advisor to help you figure out how to meet your goals.

I suppose I'm just basically encouraging you to take another look at the "can't afford it" statement. There may not be any viable options. I don't think it ever hurts to brainstorm ideas, though.