this is my first post. not sure how it all works yet. I just need to feel ok. i'm so tired of being alone...

the past 2 years, i have watched my mother die at the same time my husband was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. he's dead now too. my father in law immediately cut me out of his will. then my sister left the family. she is no longer speaking to me...and the rest of us. my mother in law died a month after my husband. a 15 year relationship of mine ended very painfully. and now, my only child is not speaking to me for reasons yet unknown.

i'm going to start taking an anti depressant. never done that before. but i'm lost in the gray, heaviness of my head. i'm pretty much paralyzed.