Thanks everyone for your concern yesterday. You showed so much warmth. I am sti going to respond to your comments but I still feel exhausted. I know I'm not okay. I know I'm not safe. I know I should probably be in a hospital, but we don't really have inpatient here and the psych wards are basically prisons just for short term.

I will talk to pdoc on friday and new t on tuesday. I'll tell new t how bad things are. She already knows they are bad and I don't feel safe, but I'll tell her that I don't care about my safety anymore. And I'll go along with what they want/suggest and even let that social worker check on me. Because I'm scared.