If it's bothering you that much maybe you could try to stop focusing on the label and instead focus on the symptoms you are trying to treat. Like anxiety and depression.minhave to be honest when I have severe anxiety and depression symptoms I am usually having a mixed episode. I know that you just can't be sure because they are so similar. I just know the difference because I don't usually have severe anxiety with my depression.

I never believed my bipolar dx either because I never had a happy mania. I thought the Drs were wrong wrong wrong. And I survived well on my own for awhile. Still had periods of depression and what I now recognize as mixed episodes but nothing mania like (I thought). Looking back now with an acceptance of bipolar I can see the hypomania. But I didn't believe it until I had a psychotic episode. Then I was finally convinced.

I know you've said you've never had psychosis. That's good. Maybe you don't have bipolar. Or maybe you do and you will become convinced of it later.

One thing I do suggest though is stop playing with your meds on your own. Going on and off of things suddenly can cause bipolar symptoms even if you do not have bipolar. Not saying you have to stay on a med you don't like, just do it with a doctor's guidance. If your pdoc won't listen to you try to find a new one if you can.