Quote:
Originally Posted by sherrymeowcat25
So this is my first post here...I suffer from severe PTSD from years of incestuous abuse. .. first I was in the hospital for my kidneys. ..now I am in the mental heath ward because my brother came to visit me while in treatment for my kidneys and a ulcer and I'm so depressed. .... I just found out today that my great aunt got hit by a car yesterday night and she passed away today I was close to her ...I feel so disassociated from everything ...my PTSD effects me so much that I haven't told my dad why I snapped when my brother came to visit me at the hospital. ...I am released from the here soon
|
I suffer from PTSD for 2 reasons:
1. I was raped/ molested by a male physician from
ages 3-10. My mother was having an affair with him.
She knew what he was doing to me.
2. Three years after he stopped abusing me
I started having nightmares about the Holocaust.
Those have lasted 30 yrs. I am usually a teenager
in my nightmares. Many of which I am being raped
by the Third Reich.
I spent a month in the psych ward in 2012.
No therapist ever came to talk to me.
I was not required to attend any group therapy sessions.
Instead, they drugged me up on huge amounts
of drugs, and discharged me 30 days later
with the diagnosis of bipolar.
This was not a diagnosis based on anything relevant.
I would highly recommend that you find a therapist
once you are discharged..who has the same
spiritual/ religious beliefs as you do.
My Rabbi is also a licensed therapist.
He was the only therapist that has been
able to get my nightmares to stop.
I have been working with him for about a year and
a half now. All of the other therapists took my
money each week and listened to me talk.
They did not care about me whatsoever.
All they wanted to do is preach to me how
men think and act.
I haven't been on a date in a decade.
Every time I am with someone in an intimate
relationship my PTSD triggers
and I have flashbacks of being raped.
Being molested by the doctor is my first,
vivid memory. I have no recovery point
or safe place to revert back to. There is none.
I am not convinced that I was put on this planet
to be involved in intimate relationships.
I find sex to be quite confusing.
However, there is beauty on earth.
I am a professor of art.
When you are depressed you must look
for the beauty elsewhere: in nature.
In the trees.
Within the birds.
Across the ocean.
If you fail to find the beauty Depression
wins. Perhaps this world isn't about all of
the ugly people who have made our lives hell.
Your best revenge on those who have
harmed you?..Is Your Success.
Search for beauty every day.
Do not rest until you have found it.
Then, sing your song and out-carol
all of the other birds.
Love yourself.