I told you today that I trusted you. "Valuable", meanwhile, was a thinly-disguised euphemism for you know damn well what.

The truth, though, is that I don't fully trust anybody. Certainly not myself. There are things I'll never be able to tell you. Even in front of you -- maybe especially in front of you -- I have to be stronger than I really feel. I'm sorry. I wish this didn't all boil down to such a damn "business".

I don't know if this can ever work and I don't know if anything or anyone can help. I don't dare believe in anything. I feel guilty for my problems. I can't sleep at night. Everything is worse than I can possibly put into words. It's all a terrible error, everything, my entire life. I'm not supposed to be here. I am an invading body slowly being erased by the universe.

Nighttime magnifies the horror by an infinite factor. God damn it I wish I could sleep.