I was very guarded with my Ts too, and would say things they found shocking in a detached, matter of fact, and emotionless (or sometimes, flippant) manner.

They told me that they found it hard to connect and maintain connection with me when I was like that.

I doubt your T meant it in a judgmental way. Perhaps she meant to tell you that guardedness (and that guardedness is understandable and natural as an abuse survivor ) makes one come across as "closed off" and thus hard to connect with.