So... I'm not quite sure what this post is supposed to accomplish, but I'll write something and see where it ends up. I think I just want to structure my thoughts a bit, which I do best if I write them down.

I have only five days to go until I see my therapist again; he's been on holiday since mid-June and I last saw him nine weeks ago. At this point, the time until my next session is the same as between my normal Thursday and Tuesday sessions. I've been envisioning a bunch of versions of what I'll do in my first session next week...
* the independent thing: pretend that the break never happened; he did not offer any assistance to help me get through the summer, which means that I was supposed to do it alone, and so I won't talk about any of the things that happened since I last saw him
* the mature thing: be fine with the break - which is not his "fault" after all, he doesn't decide how many vacation days he gets and I would not want a T who didn't take vacations like other people - and simply talk about the things that happened, without making any reference to his absence
* the needy thing: talk about not being fine about the break, because some of the time I wasn't
* the unlikely thing: talk about being fine about the break, because some of the time I was (ok, this is a stupid option, I'm not going to pick this one. If I was fine, I don't need to discuss that)
* the drastic thing: tell him that I'm doing great and don't need therapy any longer
* the usual thing: just wing it and see what comes up, which is the way my sessions usually work when I don't have anything specific to talk about

I know that some of these options might be better for me than some of the others, but I don't know if I actually want to do what's best for me. By the start of this summer I had started thinking that I'm kind of an okay person who might deserve to get help with my problems after all, but I think that was just a temporary delusion.

So, yeah, just wanting to get this out there, I guess. If anybody read this far, thank you.