Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadix
I am sick of people perpetuating this delusion that society is equally kind and accepting to everyone and that if a person isn't able to get socially integrated it is their own fault for "not trying hard enough" or something like that. That's easy for you to say if you are one of the people who is naturally liked by others, because all you have to do is be friendly and you will get accepted. But there are many of us who people for whatever reason just tend to be annoyed by us. When we try to be friendly, people will often react in a rude disparaging manner. In my opinion, somebody who is constantly rejected and disparaged by other yet continues to be social and outgoing likely has some sociopathic tendencies. A normal person will NATURALLY become withdrawn. So who's fault is it? The person who does what ANY NORMAL HUMAN BEING would do in thsir position or the people who put them in that position in the first place?
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I know this may come across as harsh and maybe "feel" like what some people do to you, but, self awareness is the key to overcoming lots of "issues". In other words, you are aware of your social awkwardness and it's affecting your life.
Yes, normal human beings will withdraw at times, but it doesn't affect their lives on a large scale. And, you're right, they aren't like you, so they can't relate. When people don't understand or have the ability to empathize, they push it away.
You will need to focus on the reasons you have social anxieties or awkwardness, not just the fact that you are that way. Why is it that you are that way? Once you identify, accept those reasons, you'll be able to start moving past it. People with this kind of thing get stuck in a loop of negative thinking which is self-defeating. "I'm not good enough", "I'm not pretty", I'm not smart", etc. Focus on your good qualities and highlight them to yourself. If there are things you don't like about yourself, work on them. Pick one thing that you don't like and work on that. Don't look at all the things, just deal with one at a time.
Sometimes making one little change, is enough to give you a boost in confidence and it morphs into more. You have the ability to make your life the way you want it to be. You can't change others, but you can change yourself. Only you have that power.