Hi Corazon13,
I can only say how sorry I am that this has happened to you.
And to please seek out therapy. I have let this run my life sense I was about 6 yrs old now at 54 and I regret it. Just kept thinking it would go away. I have been married to a good man for 17 yrs and yet I can't get over it. So please get help it just doesn't go away
DustyDawn