thanks for the responses

i have been obsessively educating myself about mental illness in general...
the more i read about bipolar, peoples stories, cycling.... the more i think i don't have it... its just hard for me to relate to so many, most people...

im trying to get an appointment with a psychologist to hopefully help me clear this up...
maybe i do have bipolar, maybe im just stuck in a dissociation phase, maybe im oblivious to my symptoms, maybe i don't know whats going on
my memory is pretty bad, but i just would think i would remember feeling pressured, manic/elevated, mixed...
i am always tired, never any boost of energy... tired emotionally too
im pretty confused... i just want to know whats going on with me