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cureav
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Member Since Mar 2013
Posts: 161
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Default Aug 13, 2015 at 09:51 AM
 
Hi there,
I'm an adult and doing everything to move out of my parents house and make my own living. But there is something that irritates me so much - my parents principles. They act as if I owe them everything they did for me; they act like I'm their slave for life, like they invested every their free time so that I would give that back to them in whole their retirement. They act pretty God-like and require that that kind of image I provide to them.
As the time comes for me to move out cause I've found a work outside my country, they do everything to make me remember the food I eat in their house. They are so desperate to be respected as the Bible say "Respect your parents", but they never suggested or supported my individualization or financial independence. I never got a sense that having a relationship is normal, cause that was never a part of their 'family image'. Their main game is to rob me and my sister of our sense of our own self and the sense of reality, so we could be useful to them in their plans.
As they grow older, their life principles are more visible to me, and I'm ashamed of being part of that.
What I am afraid of is that I'm spinning around in anger-circle inside of me cause they won't get take any other view point. I'm afraid of the reason why they even wanted children. I'm afraid that their principles are deep inside of my brain even on the surface I hate all of that.
Lately my parents can't even speak to me cause it will lead to questioning their principles; and they know how fragile and with holes they are.
I would say that the main reason my parents wanted children, so the people could say how good people they are, a perfect family. That image is for them No.1. That is the purpose of having children for them.

I would like to ask - how can I find peace cause they won't change?
What can I do with these toxic principles cause me and my older sister don't even want to get into marriage or have our own children cause we see that these are not healthy principles?

Thanks for your opinions
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