John,

It sounds like your relationship with your Mother has not been a "normal" one. I understand since I have never had a normal mother/daughter relationship with my Mother, either.

Apparently even moving a mile from your childhood home was too much for you to handle emotionally. I would suggest counseling. As far as meds, I was very afraid of them, also, but I finally agreed to trying them about 17 years ago. They changed my life.