Well, it is confirmed and I'm now officially diagnosed with Schizoaffective per both my OP treatment team and inpatient psychiatrist.

I just got out of the hospital for the 4th time since June. My delusions were so bizarre and scary and I firmly and fully believed in them this last time. I was not manic or depressed when it came about. The scariest part was believing that everyone I knew, even the people on the TV, were possessed by demons and trying to convince me that I was delusional when really they were delusional and that they wanted me worse than dead...they wanted to damn me to Hell so that I couldn't ever be reincarnated again.

Anyway, this morning I had my first session with my therapist in 3 weeks (she was on vacation for 2 weeks and the third week I was in the hospital). We had an in-depth discussion of what this diagnosis means and everything that needs to be done. I was planning on going back to school this semester but had to drop all of my classes because my life is just so unpredictable right now. The delusions come on very quickly and there is only about a two hour period in the beginning where I am still half-way in touch with reality. We are still trying to find the right anti-psychotic and shock treatment has been discussed even though it scares the crap out of me.

My goal is to go back to school next semester (in the Spring). My therapist and discussed how I can access disability accommodations so that I can stay in school: assignment deadline extensions, breaks during class, more time on tests and tests taken in a separate room to minimize distractions (these are also to accommodate my currently un-medicated ADHD as I won't be allowed to go back on Adderall for quite awhile.

This has been a crazy two months and I am at least happy to have a diagnosis that finally describes all of my symptoms.

To those of you diagnosed: How long have you been diagnosed and how often/how quickly do you relapse...does it ever fully go away with the right medications? Ways you have minimized symptoms? Any more helpful sources that better explain this illness? The DSM is so not helpful.

Thanks!