Hi there, Well my Pdoc noticed that lately at my sessions I have been putting someone up high on a pedestal, and then the next session, they were to blame and I had been in some kind of fight w/ them or had ill feelings towards them. She said to some degree is normal to feel that way, but in my case it is very extreme. I am typically very nice, even shy... so for me to act out, have these massive outbursts.... its humiliating. I try so hard to cope and calm myself, even saying the 'code word' to my boyfriend amidst my sweeping rage coming over me. It was scary $hit, always is... causing me pure physical and mental exhaustion.

I know that in my own mind, I can go from love to hate with someone very fast... I have always been 'sensitive' and i think also the rapid speed in which my 'tantrums' or whatever you call them last, they are pretty rapid too. Certain things tend to set me off much more. I know some days i can rip someone a new one like nobodys business, then i love them and am buying gifts. its crazy.

another indicator is fear of abandonment... after being close w/ my Boyfriend for a long weekend, and home sick another day, he went to work- shortly before i had my major melt down. It sound so childish in hind-sight, but in my own manipulative way (or the illness' way) i might have been causing drama for him to stick around... even threatening suicide. I completely turned around in the evening and today feel like a normal person again. I think if i was hypomanic or depressed, it wouldn't turn so fast.....

Curious if i am indeed also BP2- I think I am as I tend to get hypo and very rapid speech/ pressure speech esp when I was only on Prozac. Hard to say for sure!! In time it is all unraveling itself...

I know i have experienced depression also, but again it seems like it was never all that long-lived... who knows though- b/c today and this morning i was bouncing around the house w/ my family members and acting crazy. I could be in a hypo state...