Last saw my T on Monday and won't see her again for 22 more days because of my vacation and then hers. I am supposed to leave on Friday for a week at the beach with family but I really don't want to go. The only reason I am is because my kids really enjoy it.

My main problem right now is I am starting to feel low again. I have been crying tonight and have been having the feeling of wanted to just throw my whole life away family, job, everything. I just feel self destructive. It all sucks because I had been doing better for about 2 months. I really don't want to slide again. I wish I had asked my T for a session on Friday before leaving. I just don't know what to do. My family is very triggering for me. I don't know maybe this will all pass once vacation is over.