Jo_thorne has a point about contributing to other people's threads, I find it often helps me as much as I hope it helps them, I don't always feel able to use words but sometimes a few well chosen smilies have made me feel heard and that someone has taken the trouble to reply and I hope it does the same for other people. It also brings the thread back to the top so someone else can see it who can give good advice.
Sorry to hear you have so many worries and feel so numb- I know that's a horrible place to be and here is as good a place to rant as anywhere else. I hope you can stay active here and find support as much as I have.