The first thing to do, you've done...and that is realize you have a problem. Now you're moving on to the next step and that's ask for help. If you continue working on this, you will find a way to get through it safely, imo.

Let's not talk about your tone of voice or whether you speak softly (but carry a big stick) right now, ok?

How about thinking of why you feel you tell others what is right? What propels you to "tell a Mason the truth" for example?

When authority figures are speaking to you, even if they are yelling, what do you do at that time? What are you thinking while they inform you of something that needs to be done, or something that was done incorrectly or whatever it is that you find them speaking to you about?

You need to try and look them in the eyes, and do so without glaring. Are you standing up straight and facing them? That also shows respect. You don't have to agree with what anyone says, but you should show them respect as a person, right? Do you have good listening skills? How about taking a course, or reading a book about that? This includes the above, but also tips like, repeating part of a question back in the reply, to show you understood, and heard them.

A slouchy posture with hands on hips or folder across your chest is a definite get out of my space I'm not listening type of communication. Maybe even if you do speak softly, your framing of words is curt?

And I agree about timing... if the authority figure isn't going to hear you, such as a police officer handing you a ticket, the best and only thing to say is "I'm sorry officer."

What do you think?