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Originally Posted by Leah123
I don't think Soccer Mom's T has been trying to profit from the process- it's the T that wanted to space out sessions and refer her out, so I don't think her T was taking advantage of her feelings of neediness at all. I think Soccer Mom was actually right in the middle of the painful part of working through the transference, finally seeing what she was lacking and finding it very painful to face, and her T honored her discomfort with that by backing off as she indicated it was too much for her (for them both I think.) So the work was indeed coming from inside her, not being pushed on her by the T- those feelings that kept arising, and she's chosen a different direction. That doesn't make the therapy toxic or the therapist a profiteer.
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No, I don't think her T was out of line either - though I do think it's an industry thing. IMO, 'The Process' can be used as an excuse to stick around in therapies that are less than helpful. I don't think there's an easy way for a client in the thick of transference to decide whether or not therapy is helpful or hurtful, and there's always a clear split within this forum of whether to stay or go. I'd be interested in real statistics on the help vs harm in long term therapies for people that aren't at risk for hurting themselves or others. And by toxic, I don't mean a toxic T, just a situation that is really bad for a client.
Not to speak for Soccer Mom, but it seems like she has pretty good clarity on her unmet needs and what the transference is all about. From what she said, it was her T that didn't seem willing to allow the intensity to continue by threatening referral - which I would find really hurtful, abandoning, and reenacting. It's just a hard, painful situation. I don't know...