I'm sorry Fctwinkle,

Your husband definately disrespected you.

At 19, I was ill with BP2 (undiagnosed), pregnant and a handful for my parents too I am sure. I did alot of things that I am not proud of. I did however, do alot of growing up once my baby came and tons of maturing in the first few years of motherhood. I hope the same for your daughter.

As for your husband, there is only one tidbit of advice I have for that situation, whatever her problem, make him deal with it. If she loses her temper and starts freaking out, leave the room and say nothing...call your husband and make him listen over the phone to her. Or do what my parents did...video tape and audio tape her as she goes into her moods. Replay them when she is more apt to listen and reason. This is what was most effective for me.

Last but certainly the most important, get her some therapy. She is not in a great frame of mind and certainly will not be any better shortly after the baby comes. She needs some help and for the sake of everyone in the family and the newest arrival...please stress to her that she needs to get a diagnosis and some meds so she doesn't pass along behaviours and her baby doesn't start to parrot her later on.

I am 32 now and have worked really hard and am doing really well. So is my lovely 11 year old daughter.
It is possible for your daughter too. She is not a lost cause so long as she doesn't put herself in a victim roll and keeps herself in the survivor's roll. It's imperative that you as parents do not allow her fall into that victim's roll.

ABT