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It is good to see that you are able to share the way you think and feel with your wife and some friends. That is usually one of the biggest hurdles.
I am glad you were able to share here as well.
Have you considered discussing this with a therapist? My new therapist is totally awesome and I am very open to learning from him. He entered my life at the exact right time.
I have also found that writing helps me tremendously. If I get stuff out of my head and onto paper, stuff sometimes becomes clearer to me.
I hope you find what you need here.
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