Ever since I was a kid, I had to do things a certain number of times. I know now that what I experienced when I was unable to follow through was anxiety.
Also I am unable to touch things that are not mine. Like door handles, hand railings, etc. I will never forget the first time I touched a railing and the incredible anxiety I felt. This does not stem from a fear of germs though.
Since meeting others with OCD, I realized how different OCD can present itself in each person. It took a long time for me to get the diagnosis as I did not fear germs and I thrive in clutter. I learned at a very young age that what I did was "not normal" so I learned to hide it well. I am very open about it now and I feel less ashamed.
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