*Trigger warning: this post talks about burning briefly.*

Hey everyone. I very rarely self harm but did so over the past few days because I've had a ridiculously hard last few weeks. I've been dissociating a lot, having new visual hallucinations, have some big changes coming up, and there's just a bunch of life stuff happening in general. So, I self harmed by burning myself about 15 times over the course of a few days to get some relief. It's all concentrated in the same area on my arm and relatively okay to hide. I kept it hidden from my partner until we had couples therapy last night where I decided it was a good time/place to tell her. She is REALLY upset with me. She thinks I'm selfish, that it hurts her too/now she can't trust me, it makes her physically sick to think of me doing that to myself, etc. When I told her that her reaction is making me feel even more shamed she said, "Why, because I'm holding you accountable?" This is something I've only done once before a year ago ( with a different harming tool). I'm in treatment, have a therapist and a psych provider, and am actively working on myself in general. I'm not quite sure why she is taking this SO personally. She even slept on the couch last night and is barely talking to me.

Does anyone have any advice? This is really hard.