My mother and I got into an argument today. It wasn't explosive, but it was on the brink.

My faith that I can get back up on my feet and live a normal, independent life is very fragile. I have to convince myself everyday that I can do it and to not throw in the towel.

And my mother was just pelting me with "what if" scenarios.
What if I can never drive again.
What if I try to drive and get into a terrible accident.
What if I become very unstable again.
What if I can't find a job.
What if I can't hold down a job.

She doesn't think helping me out is the "right thing to do" because she doesn't think I am capable.

And maybe I'm not. I'm not doing so hot on this medication. I have almost no energy. And without a vehicle, I'll need to be able to walk for hours outside in the cold this winter.

So I'm constantly grappling with all the "what if" issues, and then I have to hear it from my own mother.

Another thing she brought up was how I only apply online, but don't go into fast food places and so on to ask to speak to the manager. And I haven't been doing that, my social anxiety makes it really hard.

So then I'm thinking that maybe my mother is right, maybe I can't have a normal, independent life. And it sparks a small rage in me, because I have to try so hard everyday to convince myself there is hope and to not give up.

Any of you ever get a terrible bout of the "what if" worries?