so,,looks like writing a bit of dark thoughts here is okay then?

last night, i had to put 2.5hrs of overtime at work, no pay as usual. I still couldn't finish my work, which I usually get done, but this is like a insane busy season 'cos of summer break for school kids and, long story short, I was standing/working there only with my strength of my own mind, if it weren't there/here with me, I'd be having a complete meltdown, my physical body would be a carcass, with a cold heart beating the last rhythm of my heart, which ironically would be warm, my real self or something..

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'Positive things I've done today'

I don't know what to say that. Evil twin was there, I barely dodged it. All the connections that had to happen to put me in this very moment, is that a destiny, was that destined to make that connections, the right passage way in my neurons? I do not know what makes my brain think which pathways are right or wrong. The same intelligence, and the same knowledge/memories can take both ways, equally and somehow, we often make the right choices for ourselves.

(*I'm having a tiny smile here. The connection just happened*)

I enforced it, I went to visit a young coworker of mine who was about to leave the job yesterday, I needed to have someone to chat with. He let me know that he wasn't quitting, and what did I do? Even without thinking, I grabbed his hands and congratulated him. In retrospect, I was glad that he wasn't gonna get lost in his life.

Now I'm thinking that we all need a lot of positives in our lives to sustain us, as I said earlier, the other side are right beside us all the time. You don't have to like the people you don't like. If you don't like yourself so much for whatever reasons, how ever rational they may seem, you can work on that.

(Just so you know, this writing, I did this right after I called my boss like 6 in the morning after 2hrs of sleep, and ,,,the timing of series of events and my self-consciousness, POSITIVES! o man, coffee's kicking in. I just underlined it so that I could dig some more good **** in that word, if you don't see any positive things I did in this, you're an idiot. )

(Note to self:,,,,nah, just some **** that I want to jot down 'cuz I feel like it.:

"Nobody asked me if I'm okay........Difficult as it sounds............")