Hi there, welcome to Psych Central. So sorry for what you endured and experienced abuse. No one should have to go through it. But it sounds like you are a survivor and you aiming to deal with it. But it is hard without a therapist, psych doc and guide. You really have multiple situations to deal with: the grief from the splitting from your husband and the emotions involved and the trauma from years of abuse.

It is a lot to take on but you can do it in steps with a therapist and possible support group. The thing that I hear here often is how to fix the physical problem, but the emotional reasons for the physical condition are needing to be worked on first.

Here are some articles that may have ideas that may inspire working on establishing intimacy and trust first. Let sexuality be and work up to it over a period of months or longer. Psych Central - Search results for Sexuality and intimacy and trust

Many people find the forums and the articles helpful. Here are some forums.
Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.