hi ej
thank you for sharing this personal experience. i know it must be hard. what my understanding is that while in the home, you were living in survivor mode, the fight/flight/flee mode adrenaline response was constantly in motion, you were always on guard, hypervigilant. As your therapist stated, you were not processing what was going on. Now that you are in a safe place, you brain and body are not in this state of high arousal. so when those triggers happen, they bring you back to that heightened state of arousal and you are able to notice the difference. basically, at home, you were living at a 10. now you may be at a 5. memories and such jack you back up to that 10 so you are on a roller coaster until you are able to calm yourself back down to feel safe again. processing them thru trauma work will bring you the balance you seek.