I had my session last night and planned on talking about last time when T and I connected more...nope it wasn't in the cards.

I also wanted to talk about the movie he told me to watch and we did some of that. It didn't flow out of my mouth the way I had planned.

My fault though, I started the session with an email from my mom. She wants to come to a session with me in the middle of August when she comes out. She has been telling me that she wants to work on our relationship with my therapist at least once...

I've been suspicious of her motives becauseshe previously tried to get me to quit therapy a year ago by going to my husband and saying that my 'therapy' was interfering in our marriage. It wasn't therapy but what I am learning about my marriage.

Some background is she was abusive physically at times and emotionally. She still is emotionally towards me and my brother. My T knows about this and how I feel about her.

I don't talk about her much in therapy but lately because of my brother attending a session, I have been.

I told T two sessions ago more details qbout some things she did while growing up. It is what led me to finally crying in therapy with him.

Now back to the email. My mom first typed how she and my brother are learning so much as I learn about me in therapy. She then said keep talking to me and your brother and where we fit in all of this and tell your therapist thank you.

So, thinking she didn't have an agenda after all
I responded to her that I'm gald she is supportive and it is an amazing experience. To which she replied, "I'm glad to hear that but know that one day you need to move on and deal with everything on your own, you have a family to get back to and your husband and son need you now time is precious".

Now see, there is the hidden agenda!!!!! I think she couldn't care less about coming to the session to work on things with me, she wants to interfere with me and my T...

T said that since she has said that she wants to work things out and she's told me this and my brother, who then confirmed that for T in our previous session.

When he and I talked about the email yesterday, that got him on the subject of when therapy does end and how this isn't supposed to go on forever. He told me to tell my mom that I guess to calm her fears. I am crushed. I was kind of speechless last night.

Why do I feel like my mom has already accomplished her objective? She is afraid of the changes I am making in my life, as others are.

My T seemed pretty eager to have her come and he knows she has tried to sabotage therapy before. He knows how abusive she's been and still is in some ways. He wants me to calm her fears?

Why do I feel as if I've lost my T and my mom is behind it?

Somebody tell me I am obsessing about nothing. That I am wrong about this....!