i HATE that i'm sharing this but i feel like i have to get it out...

i was hospitalized last week for hurting myself - scratching & burning my arms and stomach. i haven't done any of that since july 12 when i was admitted. i thought i was doing good.

but i realized, in a way, i just self injured again. i've never had sex before (even though i'm 32) but i've touched myself since i was little.

i'm sorry if this is too graphic...

i don't like anything inside me. but today i put something hard inside me while i was...intending to make it hurt

i'm trying hard not to hurt myself...but i ended up doing it this way!

i'm sorry if i'm offending anyone for being so disgustingly sick - but i'm afraid if i don't let it out and admit i was trying to hurt myself that i will start scratching, burning and cutting on my arms again. or maybe i'm trying to hurt myself by telling what i did - because i'm so disgusting

i'm sorry i'm such a sick disgusting person...i don't know why i can't get myself together and stop being stupid